Singing the Blues

If there had been an Academy Award for the best excuse for missing class, it would have been a tough decision. Having practice for 10 years or more, students have come up with some pretty good ones.

There are a few all time favorites — “I had a flat.” “I ran out of gas.” And of course, “I had to go to a funeral.” But when asked who passed away, the answer was always “my grandmother” — for the third time.

But then there were the real excuses — “I was sick.” The actual kinds of sickness varied with the imagination of the students. There were the ones with a cold, then there were the ones with an upper respiratory infection and the most imaginative had “rhinitis.”

So, who’s to say who was sick and who was faking. It all depended on how imaginative you were in deciding your illness, how convincing you were when having your parents write your note (or how brave you were in forging it), and how serious you looked when you got your blue slip.

A few excuses from the mother of Bruce Q. Shark for her absentee son:

Dear Attendance Person, Bruce Q. was not in school per 1-3 yesterday. He got his foot stuck in the porcelain utility. Mrs. E. Shark

To whom it may concern: Bruce was not in school periods 1-3 yesterday. He thought it was Washington’s birthday & overslept. Mrs. Ethel Shark

Mr. Duncan, Bruce Q. Shark was not in school yesterday 1-3 periods. Did you really miss him? Mrs. Shark

— 1976 Amethyst